Loopy Loos

What is it with modern loos? We just replaced our toilet and cistern, and we had a couple of cisterns replaced at work. They've all now got two flush buttons, for a small flush and a large flush (number ones and number twos I assume).

The thing is that I end up having to flush two or three times or else I leave "floaties" for the next user to enjoy :-) Hardly saving water now, is it?

And the other thing is these new bowls - it seems that the way they're designed they are especially prone to "stickies". This means getting out the brush and flushing again, using more water.

And while I'm in there, what's with the paper? It's getting thinner and thinner. What's the point? All it achieves is the paper tearing where you don't want it to, and, worst of all, your finger goes through the paper, and I'll let you imagine the rest.

If the Tv ads are anything to go by, loo paper is for puppies, ducklings, chickies, padding your bra and removing makeup. I've got news for you loo paper manufacturers: it's actually for wiping your bum! So how about some paper that does the job instead of looking good?